


You're Unravelling Me

by gums_guns_glocks



Series: Lucids [5]
Category: LUCIDS - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arguing, Collaboration, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabbles, Nightmares, No beta we die like Quinn Hills at three months old, Not Beta Read, Other, prose, rambles, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:08:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29908485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gums_guns_glocks/pseuds/gums_guns_glocks
Summary: Quinn has nightmares. Jasper helps until he doesn't, Quinn stays until he can't anymore.
Relationships: Jasper Jasperson & Quinn Hills
Series: Lucids [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2157009
Kudos: 6





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was all written in the Lucids discord very late/early in the night/day so please do not be to harsh, its the mindless hurt/comfort fic every fandom needs
> 
> I dedicate this all to Grass because she is iconic and mvp

Quinn doesn’t sleep at night, but he does have moments in the middle of the night where he just can’t move, can’t breathe, and it’s like he’s stuck in Mrs Hill’s dreamscape again except he can’t escape, he can’t run away and he’s stuck.

Jasper picked up a midnight shift (how do you even get a midnight shift at a deli?) and the tears start rolling just as the front door unlocks and Jasper’s bright whistling excitement fills the home that Quinn can no longer see. All he sees is the hatred in his mother’s eyes and the cool distorted tears that form across his eyelashes.

Jasper walks in and sees Quinn laying there, reaches out to touch his hand and brushes a soothing hand across his forehead and stays with him until Quinn is back to himself. ...And then they don’t talk about it, they just lay together, side by side, while Quinn cries himself out.

Jasper gets up and tugs Quinn’s hand and he brings him to the kitchen, and they eat ice cream in the refrigerator light and remember that they have each other now… They’re best friends… family.

But the nights get more and more frequent, and Jasper purposefully starts picking his shifts for when the sun is high in the sky. 

At night he carefully pulls Quinn to his chest and stares up at the ceiling as Quinn bunches holes into Jasper’s shirt (not that he really minds)

He worries going to work. They don’t talk about it but Quinn is looking more and more tired and worn out. Quinn won’t say anything.

At first it was fine. Now Jasper feels as though he is nothing but a rock in the lake, as opposed to an anchor. Something to latch onto but not to hold you there any longer than you let it.

And Jasper is right to worry. Quinn feels like he’s slipping away, like he’s going to crash and burn and drown. But here’s the thing about Jasper: he’s finally found something he’s willing to fight for. He’d walk through fire for Quinn. So Jasper stops trying to be an anchor. He starts trying to be a lifeboat.

He takes some personal days, some vacation days, and he takes Quinn out into the world. Sure, it might just be a dream, but it’s going to be as real as they make it. And Jasper wants Quinn to understand that he is real. Quinn is real and Jasper loves him.  
And Quinn smiles one day, stealing Jasper’s fries, and Jasper has never felt so light.

He says, “You’re my best friend.”

And Quinn realises that means ‘don’t leave me’. So he doesn’t.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes promising to stay doesn’t mean it’s easy to.

It’s the worst night Quinn’s ever had. Jasper had to do a night shift so he only catches Quinn as he’s pulled into the heat of the screaming and. Well. The wide eyed glassy elsewhere stare. The shaking shoulders. Jaspers by his side at an instant, pulling him by the shoulders towards him and Quinn latches on hard. He feels frail, like Jasper could press too hard and he'd collapse into himself.

"Quinn I'm here. I'm right here”

That's when the sobs start. Startling and painful, the sound pressed right against Jasper's shoulder and Quinn is real and proper crying, the gasping ringing into Jasper's ears in a way that will haunt him forever.

“I can't do it Jasper, I've tried but I really really can't.”

It's whispered like a mantra after the storm of tears. Jasper nods and can't think of what he can possibly say so he sits and combs a light hand through Quinn's hair, pulls him closer, and presses all the love and care he can into the embrace.

Quinn is stiff in his hold.

Quinn doesn't say anything. Jasper doesn't say anything. It's how it will always be with these things. Easier in the shadows of night than when the sun is bright and out and Quinn hides it all behind his mask.

Jasper can do nothing but repeat what he said that one day.

“You're my best friend.” stay with me please.

And Quinn of his own. “You're my family.” I stay for you alone.

Until one day it's not.

One day it's.

“You're my best friend.”

And the response is

“Why?” Why keep trying or why love me.

There are two questions that this could be, so Jasper answers both. 

Why is Quinn his best friend? It’s a complicated answer.

"You saw me," Jasper said, "and you saw something great, you made me feel great. and when I look at you.quinn, you make every day wonderful, even these ones."

Jasper knows it's not enough; that no words can accurately portray how he feels about Quinn, but he has to try. 

"Maybe especially these ones, I hate that you're hurting and there's nothing I can do, but when I'm hurting you're always there. I love every inconsequential thing, the way you smile. How you steal my fries. How easily you cry at netflix shows. Your poster boards. Should I make you a posterboard? I will."

Quinn laughs a little- it's watery, but he laughs.

The other question is harder. Why keep trying? A part of Jasper wants to say ‘Keep trying for me' But. No. It's not quite right. 

"I want you to be happy," He says instead. "I want you to have whatever life you want, I..hope I'm a part of it."

"You are." Quinn says, a little sharply, and Jasper smiles.

"I know it's not easy. But I want you to be happy. And you want you to be happy too, right?"

Quinn rubs at his eyes. His shoulders are still shaking from the earlier tears. "I don't know how to be.”

"I'll help, Quinn. I'll do whatever I can. Just. Please, hold on, for you. For the life you want." 

Quinn sucks in a shaky breath. "Okay. And you'll stay with me?" 

Through every storm. Through every bad night. 

Jasper smiles, thinks of how their whole lives are dreams, and says, “Through every nightmare.”

Quinn stares at Jasper for a long time, and for the briefest moment he looks like he’ll agree. Maybe even smile back. There's a sharp hope that strikes Jasper's chest and he nods encouragingly once to Quinn. 

“Through every nightmare,” He re-emphasizes, 

The next part breaks Jasper's heart because he saw it. He saw the moment Quinn's mouth started to quirk upwards. that he started to believe Jasper. And then, And then and then…

It's like it's no longer Quinn standing there. His eyes unfocus and he's staring beyond Jasper, eyes growing larger by the second. Jasper turns around quickly, trying to find the source, to help Quinn but there is nothing there 

"Quinn?" He asks cautiously.

Quinn is shaking his head, and then he's scrambling off the bed, pushing away from the covers, away from Jasper. His arms rise to hug himself and he shuffles backwards until his back hits the wooden doorframe.

"Quinn" Jasper tries again

"You need to leave." Quinn's voice is soft. He seems foggy and disbelieving before he  
shakes his head again, eyes trained up to the ceiling. There's a watery laugh. "You need to- I need to.. leave and never come back."

And then, with one hand pressed against the door handle and the imprint of Jasper's  
confused and hurt expression haunting his mind, he does just that.


	3. Chapter 3

Here's the thing about nightmares; they're often re-occurring.

Jasper shudders, fingers curling around the bedsheets and digging into his palm. If the look on Jasper's face haunts Quinn, then the look of Quinn's haunts Jasper. There's a lot that Jasper has learned since meeting Quinn: about dreams, about memories, about friendship.

About himself.

And here's the thing about Jasper: it turns out he's a whole lot braver than he thought, and a whole lot smarter too.

So. Quinn was suffering--really suffering, struggling and unable to cope--and Jasper is going to do something about it, god help him. 

Wherever Quinn is, whatever is happening to him, Jasper is going to get to him, going to help him, and then he's going to bring him home, There's no question about it. And Jasper isn't going to waste any more time being sad, crying. In fact he's starting to be a little bit angry. Where does Quinn get off, thinking that he can just leave forever? Without even saying goodbye? 

Best to channel the anger into something productive. And where better to start than with the explanation Quinn had offered, all those weeks ago.

In his dreams, he's always with Quinn.

And in Quinn's, he's with Jasper. A caricature, a cardboard cutout, something insubstantial and flat. But with Jasper. Jasper, wearing that terribly hurt expression. Jasper, devoid of any of the facts that make him him. Quinn regrets it, of course. How could he not?

But how could he go back?

And why would Jasper ever come?

Quinn knows that this Jasper isn't real. The light behind his eyes doesn't shine as bright. his soul doesn't match Quinn's. This isn't the man Quinn would walk through fire for and yet he keeps showing up. The painful ringing won't go away, or the quiet blank expression, the words that sting like poison but are said as if they are cardboard.

Quinn wants him to leave. He wants his Jasper back, his wonderful warm caring person,  
his whole. But the part of him that's been seared down by years of self hatred wanders if  
this is what he deserves.

That's a lie. He knows it's what he deserves.

"You told him to leave and never come back." Cardboard Jasper tells him. Quinn can't  
look away so he stares back in a panicked defiance.

"No, No-I told you to go away!" 

Cardboard Jasper smiles with no emotion.

"How many times do I have to say it Quinn. There is no him, no me, there is only Jasper and you are hurting him. Do you know how much you are hurting him?"

“No."

Yes.

"You do, so why not let him go? Set him free? You were not happy with your mother. Jasper is not happy with you."

Quinn doesn't trust Cardboard Jasper. He's not that swayed. And yet, He wants him gone. He wants Jasper to be happy. To find his place.

Dreams are fickle things. A complex web of overlapping series, repeating over and over forever. And really, how unfairly easy it is that Quinn can find a string and pull it free. To find a place where no one can reach him unless he reaches for them first. 

Let Jasper try to find him. It is impossible now.

"Wake up, Jasper."

No, no, don't wake up-don't wake up, you're so close you just have to press a little further-

But Jasper can feel the dream unravelling and he's not sure if it from his side or from Quinn's. Because that had been Quinn, this much he's sure of. He'd felt it, like a fire in his chest that ignited the moment he got close. But dreams are like spiderwebs and they are oh so easily broken.

Jasper wakes up.

"I found him," he says, breathless. "I was almost there."

He was almost home.

Oliver shifts in his seat, a little uncomfortable. frown pinching at his eyebrows. "You said he left, right? I... I don't think he wants to be found."

Jasper's eyes flash with anger. "Is that why you woke me up?"

"I woke you up because it's been three days and you need to eat."

"Worth it," Jasper mutters, uncharacteristically bitter. "I'm going to find him."

"If you're sure-"

"Wouldn't you do it? For Benjamin?"

Oliver looks away and doesn't answer. Maybe it's a low blow. Jasper doesn't know what's going on with those two. But at the moment he doesn't care.

He sighs. "I think he undid something. Quinn, I mean. I think he's hiding."  
"And you still want to go after him?"

Jasper shrugs and tugs at the sleeves of his jacket. "You didn't see him before he left. I don't think he wanted to go. I think he felt like he had to."

"But if he is hidden-- Quinn is a powerful Lucid. How will you possibly find him?"

Jasper looks like he's swallowed a bug. "I think I need help from another powerful Lucid."

"Mrs Hills?"

"No," Jasper shudders. Even now, he can't imagine going to Quinn's mom about this. But  
the alternative, the other idea that comes to him is just as bad. "My dad."

James Jasperson isn't winning any parenting awards. But he does enjoy teaching people  
how to be Lucids, especially those who are already on their way to figuring it all out. 

And if he calls in a favour later on, manipulates some small part of their dreamscapes, well-  
all's fair in love and war, right?

So when Jasper Jasperson shows up at his door, he agrees to help.


	4. Chapter 4

It takes another three days to find an opening.

Unravelled dreamscapes are confusing complex things even from James' perspective. They exist just outside of a regular Lucids peripheral, and are barely noticeable even  
when you're looking directly at them. The fact that Quinn not only managed to find a weak spot but managed to slip in and close it back up? It is… intriguing to say the least.

It takes so long to find it. Quinn hid it remarkably well, strings overlapping strings to the  
point of headache. But Jasper finds it. He finds it again and again and again, getting quicker every time. But he can't get any further than that first tangle, that pressure that he knows is Quinn, lying just beyond.

Even James is confused, frustrated, upset. It shouldn't be this hard, It's one measly inconsequential little prick of a kid, an infant really. Why does he have such a hold on this power he wields? And why is using it in such a meaningless way?

Jasper just wants Quinn to come home. Because that's what he is, Quinn's home. He knows it deep in his heart from fractured whispers in the middle of the night to laughing  
teasing jokes over morning coffee. He is Quinn's place, his tether. And now Quinn's cut him off and it is not fair and not safe and by god Jasper just wants him back.

They have to end the session early because Jasper can't keep the tears from pricking his eyes. If Oliver has anything to say, he wisely keeps it to himself.

Come home Quinn. Come back to me

It's all James Jasperson's fault.

Jasper has been trying, really really trying, but Quinn is good and gone and he's not going to admit it but he can see it on Oliver's face. He doesn't believe anymore.

It pulls at a deep rooted resenting anger Jasper didn't even know he had when Oliver  
broaches the topic of moving on. He does it quietly, when he thinks Jasper isn't listening  
but Jasper can hear the conversation as if it were shouting match.

“We wouldn't have to move on if that one could actually navigate dreamscapes with any  
level of competency.”

“At least he's trying! He's trying but at some point you need to tell him it's impossible.”

"Nothing is impossible. One must simply open the mind."

"Well unless you can teach Jasper how to do that, this is as good as impossible."

And then the chilling words that force Jasper back several passes.

"Who's to say. ‘Oliver’ that I don't already know that? Quinn won't come home. Jasper  
cannot bring him home. But Jasper is frail and he's to know that he tried. And that he  
failed because he is too weak. Maybe then he'll actually get somewhere."

Too weak. Jasper runs and doesn't look back. Maybe Quinn had the right idea all along.

Here's the thing about nightmares: they're often re-occurring.

Jasper hears the words repeated, again and again and again, over and over until he thinks his head might explode. Too weak. Too weak. Too weak. Maybe Quinn really is gone forever. Maybe this is the end of Quinn & Jasper, Jasper & Quinn, best friends & family.

But Jasper doesn't believe it. Doesn't want to believe it.

But he still runs.

Because here's another thing Jasper's learned about himself recently, he and Quinn have started to pick up each other’s habits. Apparently, literally running from their problems is another one that they share. It doesn't take long for Jasper to be glad that he was never involved in any of the chase sequences. He stops, huffing, with his hands on his knees. His jacket flaps in the small breeze.

Okay. Okay, Jasper's too weak, According to a father he's never known in a dreamscape  
that he didn't create, Jasper is weak. But earlier, he'd thought about channeling his anger into something productive. The same should be happening now. 

What had Quinn done? Unwoven the multiverse and then stitched it back up? Well, unluckily for him, Jasper's been sewing patches and buttons and hemming his jeans for his whole life. He knows a little about threads.

And he knows how to find a dropped stitch.

Quinn looks up. Cardboard Jasper's followed him through his shortcut to isolation and  
sits, mostly still never speaking, taunting him. But something seems to shift, now.  
Jasper's eyes are brighter again, burning with twin-flame intensity, reminding Quinn why  
running had never been a good idea. Cardboard Jasper couldn't compare, had never  
compared. The real Jasper looks at Quinn and smiles for a split second. And then it drops.

"Asshole," he says, and it's not quite biting but also not affectionate. "Who gave you the  
right to leave without saying goodbye? My best friend should- my best friend shouldn't  
leave in the first place. What's going on Quinn? Talk to me! Please."

Quinn doesn't like to be alone. There's something about it, the creeping at his spine and shiver in his ribs that causes him to reach out. To be around someone.

He wishes it didn't always end the same.

But, terrible abandonment issues aside, this is the only reason he keeps Cardboard Jasper around. Sure when he did speak, which wasn't very often, he did nothing but voice Quinn's insecurities, pull and tug until Quinn is nothing less than a mess. But by god if that isn't better than the silence.

Quinn thinks he might've hated the silence between his mother's visits more than the  
shouting.

Staring at Jasper (real proper Jasper) is like seeing home again for the first time. Scratch the like. Jasper is home and Quinn's bones quiver at the sight of him.

By all the stars in every sky Quinn knows, he had missed him.

And then Jasper's scolding him and reality crashes into motion once again.

He turns away, his momentary euphoria ripped to shreds.

'Go away Jasper." He states, harsh and cold, biting. "You're not even supposed to be  
able to get in here."

"Wha-Quinn? It's me!"

"That's exactly the issue!" There's nothing Quinn can do except whip around and shout  
the words. Jasper folds into himself.

"What?"

"You. You are what's going on." He hisses, finally responding to Jasper's early question.  
For a moment he wishes he'd customized the loose thread a little more. He has nothing  
to pick up, nothing to do. Except stare into Jasper's pure face while he shatters every last piece of care he has left. Because then he will be gone and Quinn will be alone and it will be terrible but then the nightmares will stop.

Quinn knows not to run. But staying is simply impossible.

Not when it's Jasper's happiness versus his.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm what's going on?" Jasper repeats, voice cracking. "I'm the problem?"

Maybe--maybe it's not so cut and dry. Maybe there's more to it then Quinn is saying  
but...Jasper flinches backwards anyway, curling his shoulders in towards his chest and  
hands making their way into his jacket pockets. Maybe it makes sense. How did they meet? Quinn knew everything--everything--about Jasper. Had lists of random facts that made Jasper seem so interesting. Eventually he would realise that the real life Jasper couldn't live up to his ideas. Of course.

"You're my best friend," Jasper says once more, a final lifebuoy tossed into the sea. One  
more half-desperate plea. "Do you know that? Do you understand what that means?  
You're my person and if--if I've done something to hurt you...I...will you at least tell me  
what I've done? Give me a chance to make it right? I don't want to lose you." 

i'd do anything to keep him around

Quinn freezes. How could--it's not anything Jasper's done, there's nothing Jasper could  
do. But Quinn is only really good at one thing and that's running. Hiding. Creating new  
identities based in ridiculous schemes that shouldn't work half as well as they do. So he  
picked at the threads of multiverse and built himself a cocoon and somehow, somehow  
Jasper still found him. Still...wanted to find him. Because he didn't say goodbye.

"Why do you keep doing this?"

"Why do I--I don't know how much more clear I can be! You..you make me so happy,  
Quinn. So happy. And I..I want you happy too. And I don't think this--" he gestures around the space, which Quinn will admit is kind of depressing looking-- "is making you  
happy. But if it is--if you can honestly say that it is then I'll--I'll leave."

His voice cracks on the word, and when Quinn looks up, Jasper is blinking back tears.

"Jasper."

"But you have to convince me. You have to be honest and I have to believe it cause-- cause I can't be happy if you're not. Do you get that?"

Quinn doesn't. But.he can't be happy if Jasper isn't either.

Jasper is furious. He's tired, and angry and terrified and heartbroken. But most of all he's  
confused. His entire perception, the entire basis, of his relationship with Quinn was  
based on this mutual concept. Just the one. That no matter what throughout it all, they  
were each other's life line. Their person. The one thing they could always rely on.

Is he not enough for Quinn?

Quinn hasn't stopped staring at him. He hasn't said anything. They are standing across  
from each other, neither one breathing. Jasper's aware suddenly of the intimacy of the  
world they are in. Just him and Quinn. If Quinn were to...well he won't. He will come  
home to Jasper.

Is his home even with Jasper?

Finally Quinn shakes his head. In fact he shakes his whole body. He begins shivering, and Jasper has half the mind to reach out and hold him and never let go. He doesn't.

The shivering turns back to shaking and Quinn's facing the ground now, hands on his  
knees. It takes approximately 6.4 seconds for Jasper to realize he is laughing. He's  
laughing and he's sobbing. Hysterical.

"Oh god, you don't make this easy do you?" Quinn's voice sends shivers down Jasper's  
spine.

"Quinn..."

"No no you wanted an answer right? You make me unhappy Jasper. So impossibly  
unhappy it's suffocating. You're always there. Always-" He cuts himself off harshly, face  
contorting.

he's lying he's lying he's lying.

"You're always there. It's killing me Jasper--the nightmares I've been having? They  
stopped being about my mom weeks ago."

"What-"

"So yeah. It's you. It's all you." Quinn gulps down a breath of air, his face pinching.  
'How's that for an honest answer?"

Quinn wants to stop lying. To stop running. He does so bad it's destroying everything  
around him, crumbling his resolve to dust. But there's nothing else to do. Cardboard  
Jasper's here, he can feel it in the lines he's been shouting at Jasper (real beautiful,  
fracturing because of him Jasper) the smile of easy contempt that it's carrying There's  
words bubbling forward and Quinn can't hold them back suddenly and it's too far, this  
Is too far, you did it Quinn you hurt him he won't come you are fine, this is too far-

"Your own dad didn't want you. Why should I?”

Quinn's no longer there. He feels as though he is made of cardboard as he watches Jasper's entire face drop. The light behind his eyes flicks off, just like that. Who knew it was so easy?

Quinn did. That’s why he did it.

Neither of them get to be happy. Quinn feels lightheaded. He feels wrong. Nothing that he said was right. He didn't mean to say that. He hadn't wanted to say all of that. So why did he?

Why when all he wants is for the nightmares to stop. To be with Jasper.

To be happy.

When did Quinn become the one who was grieving?

When did he take his mother’s place?

Why is Jasper taking his?


	6. Chapter 6

Jasper takes a moment. He closes his eyes, sucks in a breath, counts to ten. He's still a little colder than maybe he should be when he speaks, but after what Quinn's said he thinks he deserves to be. "You were supposed to convince me." 

Quinn scoffs. "How much more convincing do I need to be?"

Jasper shrugs stiffly. He knows Quinn. He knows him. And knows when he's lying. Jasper's still worried about him, still terrified that something is seriously wrong. But he's also hurt, upset and near to tears. Your own dad didn't want you.

"You're right," Jasper says lowly. "My dad doesn't want me. I went to-I got his help, you know, to try to find you. For a minute I thought..that maybe we might be able to get along better. But then he called me weak. Not even to my face, which was somehow worse. 'Cause that meant he was  
thinking it the whole time and pretending otherwise. Lying to me. But, you know, at least he's consistent."

Quinn's jaw works and he looks away, fists curling and uncurling. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you took the lowest possible blow," Jasper says, and leans forward ever so slightly, "and it still doesn't hurt me as much as seeing you cry."

Quinn tries to scoff and ends up sniffing instead. "You just don't quit, do you?" 

"Even if it's true-" and Jasper really, really hopes that it isn't- "and I'm..I'm the source of your nightmares and the reason you..even if that's true, you've locked yourself away somewhere with no one else. Isolated. And that's not..that can't actually make you happy. And I meant what I said. I can't be happy if you're not. If you. if you really can't be around me anymore, then fine." 

He ignores the way his voice cracks and ploughs on. “Fine. There's not a lot I can do about that. But I'm not letting you stay..here."

They're quiet for a long time. Quinn doesn't speak, doesn't relent.  
Jasper sinks to the floor and sits cross-legged, picking at a loose thread on his jeans.  
"You know, my mom misses you."

Quinn sits down too, with his knees pulled up to his chest. His face is still tear-stained.

"Why?"

"She likes you," Jasper says, lips twitching slightly. "Probably helps that I didn't tell her you ran away. I just said.. you were dealing with some stuff. She keeps checking in, asking if you're okay. You don't expect me to lie to my mom, do you?"

He's trying to sound lighthearted but his voice is too raw for it to come off right. Jasper sighs. "I want you to..come home. But I won't make you. I really can't make you do anything you don't want to. But come on. Do you really want to stay here?" 

Quinn looks around the barren walls and empty world, the threads that he's pulled shut. It's awful, it's a prison of his own making. And it's awful, but he's awful. How can Jasper still sit here, still try to help? "Why are you still here?"

"I told you," Jasper says. "You're my person."

"You deserve someone better."

"You don't get to decide that for me." Jasper shakes his head. "Besides, who's better? I don't think anyone could hold a candle to you."

It's Jasper fact number 126: Jasper is always sincere. And how can Quinn bear to hurt Jasper just to hurt himself? The cost is too high. Hurting Jasper..since Quinn met him, that's not been an option. And yet here he is, spiralling and lashing out. "Jasper..I." 

"Take your time," Jasper assures him. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Jasper I..." 

Quinn starts once. Stops. Opens his mouth to start again. Stops once again. Jasper watches him with a polite concern, his heart is aching. Even if he doesn't understand the full extent of Quinn's struggles anyone would be able to see the battle that was warring behind his exterior. 

One side wins and Quinn walks nervously towards Jasper.

"Jasper...please let me come home." He whispers so light and airy Jasper can't take it anymore. He closes the distance between them and reaches to grab Quinn's arm,  
holding him still. Tethering him. He's still a lifeline, circumstances be damned. 

"It was never a question Quinn. You can always come home."

Quinn breathes heavy and deep. Once. twice. Jasper feels a pressure building in his head and he scrunches his eyes close for just a second. When he opens them they are in the apartment. Well, he says them. It's so widely obvious that Quinn isn't at his side  
immediately and Jasper's mind turns frantically. He's even about to head out the door until he hears a sniffle to his left. It stops him dead in his tracks in a way only Quinn can.

Quinn doesn't know what he's doing anymore. He's being selfish, taking himself back with Jasper. Letting Jasper sway him, sway the both of them into believing they should have a say in this. That Quinn wasn't doing the right thing by leaving.

by all that is holy in the world he wishes he wasn't. He really really does.

But. Quinn is so tired of running. He is tired in general. The trip from loose thread to  
Jasper's reality takes something from him with it. He can still feel Cardboard Jasper  
sitting above his rib cage. 

But then real Jasper is there and his arms are wrapped around Quinn in a fierce protection. One hand holding Quinn's head in place, fingers threaded through his hair.

'Don't leave me Quinn. Please" Jasper's crying. Jasper's full on crying and Quinn is only human beyond memories beyond everything and this is Jasper and he is crying. It's by autopilot that Quinn hugs Jasper back, shifting so it's Jasper's head against his chest, Jasper's shoulder pressed into Quinn's own. Jasper has his closed and speaks carefully, like he is reciting a poem. Or a preplanned speech. But it's Jasper and Quinn finds comfort in knowing neither of these are true. Jasper speaks from the heart, like an unfiltered stream. Quinn finds Jasper's sincerity the most beautiful sound.

“I know you didn't want to leave. I know it so don't argue, because I know you too and you want to argue. You are not saving me by letting me go Quinn. I choose you. I choose you over and over, and that includes all of you. All of the bent bits, the unhappy bits, the bits that are hurting. I choose to love all of that Quinn. So please try to tell me what to feel. Don't do this alone. Because I will never let you go. Even if we one day go our separate ways. I will always worry, always be ready to drop anything for you. You are my it Quinn. My final ending."

Quinn doesn't say anything. He doesn't need to. They'll be okay. Not perfect, and maybe  
not always happy but okay.

They'll never give up on each other. Won't let the other give up either.

"Hey." Jasper murmurs, turning over so he's face to face in Quinn's arms. Quinn musters a sly grin back.

"Hi."

"I'm Jasper."

"Hi Jasper, I'm Quinn". Jasper is giggling. Quinn can't help but smile, even bigger and more genuinely back

"Do you want to visit my mom Quinn? I wasn't lying when I said she misses you."

"Yeah. Yeah I'd like that"

Love. Not a fix, not a solution, but a reason to keep trying to find one.


End file.
